A big fucking dog came in my house tonight and tracked mud all over my carpet. I was pissed off! The dog's owners we just standing outside my fucking apartment saying, "Kirby, come here, silly doggie!" Fuck them. Silly doggie my ass. This damn dog was the size of a pony, with his fucking muddy ass hoofs... tracking mud and leaves all through my house! I had to borrow my next door neighbor's carpet cleaner to get it all out.

I should send Kirby's mommy and daddy a bill for my labor. Silly doggie... fucker.