I wanted to be a writer so bad when I was younger. I would sit around and write poetry and short stories, and I even started a novel once. I never thought they were good enough for anyone to read, so I now have them stored in a pink paper folder in the bottom drawer of my chest of drawers. Sometimes I take them out and read them, just because I am nostolgic. Some of them I think are pretty good. And others... I just wonder where they came from. Sometimes whrn I read my poetry, I wonder what I was under the influence of at the time of their creation. I experimented a lot with drugs when I first started high school. I documented these experiences in poetry. Some of them are very insightful... it is hard to believe they were written by a 13-15 year old. Some of them are just down right frightening, and I don't really like to read them at all anymore. I was apparently terrified when writing one particular poem... It was about death, and how I was going to die any moment. I remeber writing that poem, and I remember being scared. I was on speed when I wrote it. I was way too young to be experimenting with speed. We all learn somehow I suppose.

Later in high school, I got my writing fix by joining the Journalism staff. I wrote for the yearbook and newspaper, but I soon discovered that I was much better at photography and was dubbed "Head Photographer." I was honored, and I took it seriously. I was good. I later took up reading Prose at Theatre UIL events. I won serveral awards for my dramatic interpretation of "I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen. It was about a young single mother who was trying to make ends meet and was reflecting back on her daughter's life, and figuring out where she went wrong. Was this forshadowing for my own life? At this point I had no idea that one short year after high school, I would become a young single mother, trying to make ends meet.

I found my Prose bbok the other day... a small balck binder. I picked it up and held it in proper position, and began to recite "I Stand Here Ironing." It was good, and it made even more sense to me now. I broke down into tears as I finished my "performance." I made a pact with myself that day, that I would do things right for my baby girl, and never look back on her life with regret.