05.05.00
| 12:39 p.m.
Leaving again
And yet another hard time in my life is swiftly approaching. We have to send Baby Girl back to New York... this time for "the long haul," as my mom likes to call it. I probably won't get her back until Christmas. Which means she will start Kindergarten there, and I will miss her first day of school. She will probably lose a tooth or two, because her 6-year molars are breaking in now and they are bound to need more room. I'm afraid I will miss out on a lot of great things. Damn me and my finances. But this means I will be able to get a job... maybe even two. Slippy and I will be able to save lots of money so maybe we can quit worrying about things when she does get to come home.
I hate not having my baby. This is the last time I ship her off. Ever. I mean it. I can't take this anymore. If we can't make ends meet when she gets back, then... I dunno. But something. Anything to keep her. I keep telling myself I am doing the right thing for her... she is better off there where she has friends, a huge yard to play and ride her bike in, good food on the table... It's for the best, right? So how come I feel like a shitty mother?
Things will get better. I have to say that so I can make sure it happens.
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