You never can penpoint one thing... it's usually a string of events. Like getting all my credit cards and maxing them out, or screwing up my college education when I had a shot at a good university. Maybe it was when I decided to quit the job I love and move to Dallas. Who knows. I do know that things are so screwed up I am afraid I cannot work them all out again. Am I destined to work meanial jobs and scrape by for the rest of my life, or will there come a time that I am comfortable with who I am and what I do? Will there come a time that I can pay the bills and still have money left over for the luxury itmes?

There are no guarantees. You don't hit a certain age and magically have money. I have no problems working for what I get... in fact, I cannot imagine it being any other way. And I also know that the problems I face will be make me stronger. It's just hard to deal with now...