Don't get me wrong... New York is beautiful. There are a lot of opportunities here for us. I have spent more time outside since I have been here than I have in months in Texas. We have been hiking and fishing. Slippy and Baby Girl have been canoeing together. We have spent great evenings on the porch, enjoying the cool weather and nice breeze, just talking and laughing. But when I look out my window, all I see are trees... not Dallas.

It's funny, because we are actually doing quite well here. Slippy is getting his business off the ground. He has already landed his first client and is well on his way... I have applied to be a substitute teacher this winter at the local school. There's something I never saw myself doing! We have a roof over our heads, although it's not ours, food on the table, and money in the bank. We have plans for that money, but it's there nonetheless. It feels good to start getting back on our feet, but at the same time, I still feel like a failure because I couldn't make it in Dallas. I had a child, and got married, and we couldn't make it. I feel like I let them all down... and myself. My head is full of "if only's" and "what if's." If I had only not quit my job... If I had only found a job sooner... If only I had never made that phone call that landed my 1600 miles away from home. Then what? Would I be homeless? Hungry? Divorced? Maybe. Maybe not. That was the problem. Life was full of far too many uncertainties for me to be comfortable. So I ran back to Mommy and Daddy. I hope it was the right thing to do. Only time will tell.