07.24.03
| 7:47 p.m.
A brand new Chodagirl- New and Improved even!
He brought me a long stemmed red rose that was so fragrant I could smell it across the room. When he handed it to me, and our fingers lightly touched, there were sparks. And I almost looked down to see if I could see them. The rain fell hard, and the sky was dark, but the conversation flowed as if it had been ongoing for years. This man, this beautiful man, has stolen my heart, and made me realize that there is more to life than what I have been living. He has made me realize that I deserve the best, not second-rate. He has made me realize that no one should treat me like the other has. He had made me realize that no man should ever hold me down and hit me, while screaming and asking if I like it. He made me realize that I am someone... someone important, and someone deserving of love. He made me realize that there is love afterall, and not just a sick, twisted mind game of manipulation and abuse.
My husband sits in jail and contemplates his millionth mistake. I received a letter from him today, telling me how sorry he was, and how much he loves me. He says he realizes that he fucked up, and that he has lost me. What he doesn't know is that my attorney called this morning to tell me my divorce papers were ready for my approval. What he doesn't know is that someone has captured my heart. What he does know is that he will never be forgiven. And he does know that I am gone forever.
It feels so good to be free. Nine years of hell... and I was so blind. It almost makes you feel stupid when you finally open your eyes and recognize the monster you are married to. It hurts when you realize that your husband loves drugs more than he ever loved you, and the only reason you are still with him is because you didn't know any better.
I know better now... and when he wraps those big strong arms around me and hold me close, I know that everything is going to be perfect.
